Please don’t make me adult

I really don’t want to adult anymore. I am so tired of making decisions and then having to remake them. I am fed up of never getting it quite right and just not being happy with the results.

Every day I am expected to make decisions that have an impact on so many people in my life, and animals for that matter. From deciding what to make for breakfast/lunch/dinner to where to live, all these decisions are down to me. Why, because I am the adult.

Well, can you please stop the world from turning for a while and let me get off? I would really like a break from adulting. It’s not that I want anyone else to make decisions for me, heaven forbid, that would be horrible. But I just want to not have to make any for a while.

See the thing is, when you have kids, they don’t give you an instruction manual. So you fuck up, a lot! I mean I wanted to move away from the area I currently live. My kids were all excited for it too. Until we visited the place today and then the reality hit home. So I had an emotional child and a grumpy child on my hands. One was crying, the other was complaining. All I could do was think, fuck, I fucked up.

Then to add to it, one child started apologising for changing their mind. Apologising for not wanting to move after all, taking the guilt on to themselves. So now I had to be doubly grown up and say it wasn’t their fault, which it wasn’t. I had to put my own feelings of disappointment to one side and reassure my child that she hasn’t ruined anything.

So now I am tired, drained and emotional. I am struggling to be an adult because what I really want to do is just curl up in a ball and have someone give me a cuddle and tell me that it will all be ok. So yeah, today adulting sucks.